Nov 10th 2020 Despair can leave people feeling unmotivated, emotional and numb.
‘Emotionally drained’ is a common description for many people these days and it can lead to irritability, frustration, outbursts and tears. People are left wondering, where they are meant to resource yet another batch of coping skills, positive outlooks and looking on the bright side. Coming up for air doesn’t seem to be an option for many people trying to stick to all the rules, keep all family members safe as well as look after vulnerable parents.
Every day is a different story, people being criticized, people afraid to do the wrong thing, people feeling like their life is being wasted, afraid to make a decision as the future is so volatile and missing connection and routine, which is a scary place to be.
Humans adapt incredibly quickly, it’s a survival skill which is great, but months on end in ‘survival mode’, takes its toll. People begin to feel worn out, exhausted, lose their motivation and can even become numb. This will create systems drained of nutrition, and living from unsustainable coping skills.
Certain fight or flight responses like looking on the bright side to remain positive and able to cope, suppressing any fear to keep focused on the task at hand, or picking others up to keep the mood in the house uplifted may be appropriate during stressful times, but long term can create burn out, symptoms, pain, a weakened immune system and lead to illness.
It can feel like there is no winning in situations when people are exhausted, like digging deep and finding that last ounce of motivation makes no difference. People are beginning to wonder, “Who am I?” as they don’t recognize the person in the mirror.When it seems hopeless, it can be very hard to know where to even start to get help. What will work? What help do I need? How do I know it will help?
Let me share an insight that changed my life. It’s not getting to the complete opposite state to feel well again, it’s that first step in the right direction.That first step is uplifting, energizing, motivating and hopeful.
It’s a promise that things are improving, and this the right path. It’s one extra positive coping skill that gives space to think and breath, a knowing that gives a moment of peace or a feeling of being okay in the uncertainty.From a place of despair this can seem unachievable, but our bodies are smarter than we give them credit for. Balance creates inner healing, and it’s easier to get there than you might think.
I know this because I have been there (more than once), I didn’t know it until I was in a better place and able to look back. I didn’t ask for help, I thought admitting being stressed was failure. I thought needing support meant ALL MY EFFORTS to eat well, stay positive, exercise and live a healthy life were wrong, which would have made ‘me wrong’. I just wasn’t in a space to find more coping skills to deal with the fact that I had run myself into the ground trying to be healthy, and was still so far from health.
So this message might be too overwhelming for some, worlds away for others or just land perfectly with others. It may feel like things have gone too far and there is no help, but it only takes that one step.
I took that first step years ago, I fell back, sometimes I even walked back a step or two, but that first step gave me such hope I always came back to the right path for me. I can’t express in words how lucky I feel to have solid coping skills that work for me, to be in a place of unknowing and uncertainty and know that I am still okay. I use the support around me as needed, I reflect what works for me daily and what needs to change, I invest in my health to keep building coping skills as life is ever changing and learnt to live from ‘life’, instead of ‘survival’.
I share this from a deep place in my heart. I connect with others that are struggling and feel lost. I support people who know there is a better way of life and looking for true inner healing.
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Gift yourself your health Amanda