Some situations catch people off guard, and they end up annoyed at themselves!People end up saying ‘YES’ to every demand, work do, party, family event or work request.
Their mouths defy them and agree to attend a social event when is doesn’t suit at all. Or they sometimes even offer to do something without being asked, and end up kicking themselves, leaving them feeling like a push over. Others feel like a deer in the headlights during confrontation and avoid it at all costs, then cue the inner mind chat, ‘I wish I had said this’,’ Why didn’t I stick up for myself?’.
Often people get so caught up in guilt or uncertainty that they give too much of themselves away. This can snowball into a world of self doubt, anxiety, self judgment, negative self talk and disrespecting the self.It feels impossible to please everyone. Hosting an event never reaches everyone’s expectation, someone is put out if another applies for the promotion they wanted, or someone is deemed rude if they reject any request unless there’s a valid excuse.Unfortunately this doesn’t stop there.
How we treat ourselves, shows others how to treat us. By not setting clear boundaries, we indirectly communicate that we will accept unacceptable behavior. This can lead to feeling like a victim of circumstances. It can be very hard to see a way out. This can display itself as getting annoyed at others as they seem to constantly cross the line, or frustrated when others always ask requests that seem out of line.
Some people suffer anxiety or panic attacks trying to do what they feel other people expect, or others lose total confidence in themselves and feel like a push over.Saying ‘no’ doesn’t have to be rude or selfish. There is a way the message can be communicated assertively and with compassion. This prevents all the nasty guilt that is generally associated with saying no.
Begin the journey of taking back the power. Prepare some versions that refuse the request firmly but kindly. Practice these and try them out in safe situations with no consequences such as a phone call looking for donations to something you’d rather not give to, or when asked if you want yet another loyalty card for a shop. Some of my favorite are,‘ no, but thank you all the same’, or ‘ that doesn’t suit me but I hope you get sorted’. See, https://www.facebook.com/amandasclinic for more ways to overcome behaviours that may be holding you back.
I’d love to hear from you,
Gift yourself your health